The Motivation for the Holocaust

Rolf had avoided any events that reminded him of his past, but when he heard Selig Baar was speaking he had to go. Rolf saw it as an opportunity to let go of his past; the guilt he had been hiding for six decades. Selig Baar was speaking at a local museum after screening of the documentary The Motivation for the Holocaust. Rolf did not want to watch documentary. He was not keen on living his past again. He only wanted to ask a question to Selig.

Rolf went to the museum at 6. When he entered the small auditorium, an old man wearing rectangle glasses was walking lethargically to the front. Rolf recognized Selig walking to the front. Before Selig turned around, Rolf quickly slipped into a seat in the last row. The auditorium was small. Scanning the atmosphere, Rolf saw around 70 people in 100 seats. All the members of audience were in awe and unable to move. Holocaust had been mesmerizing people for years. It had the same effect on that day.

Between two rows of seats, a microphone was getting the most attention. Before Selig settled into his chair and took charge of his microphone, three people lined up to ask question. 

“Thank you all for joining us today and once again please welcome Selig Baar.” A female voice filled the auditorium. Rolf could not see her from his seat. He did not make any effort also, as Rolf was avoiding eye contact with Selig. “The word holocaust in the context of World War 2 was synonymous with gas chambers. However, as we saw today, there was much more to it. It started years before the world war. It was more than gas chambers, unethical taxation, segregation, racism, eviction, mass graves, murders, loot and many more words can be used to describe them. Selig Baar is here with us: one of the survivors of those terrible times. Please ask your questions.”

Rolf adjusted in his seat to have a look at Selig’s face. After six decades, the man was distant resemblance to his younger self. Selig’s saggy face, big bones, thin hairs were evident of the time passed. Selig was no longer the skinny blond boy Rolf remembered. 

“Do you hate Germans?” The first question was fired at Selig.

Selig laughed loudly. “This is one question I prepared answer for. I didn’t expect it to be the first one though. I am German. Can I hate myself?” Many members of the audience chuckled with Selig. “I understand your question. Holocaust was not a showdown between German and Jews. I believe except for Denmark and Finland, local authorities and structure participated in holocaust. France, Lithuania, Yugoslavia, you name it. Neighbors, friends, classmates, colleagues, employers, they all participated. On the other hand, Romas, some ethnic Polish leaders were also killed. I have never been anything else than German. How can I hate Germans?” Even though Rolf avoided the movie, he could not avoid the memories. He was shifting in his chair. He was uncomfortable. The discussion was already unbearable.

“Mr. Baar. Thank you for being here today. That was an inspiring movie. I loved the stories of survivors, because we all have heard horrible stories of deaths and killings. First time I saw so many stories of triumph over evil. Can you shed some light on your thoughts on this movie?” Second question was asked to Selig.

Selig coughed. “My thoughts. The movie you saw was the life we lived. This movie is about human interactions in the wake of the tragedy. Every person is driven by something. Greed, Compassion, Love, Hate, Jealousy. When greed, jealousy, hate took over a person they reported us to the authorities, participated in killings, robbed our belongings. When compassion, love, care won, they helped us. In the end, all those people survived because someone on the other side helped them at great risk. I remember one instance when a Nazi officer called an old Jew friend advising him to leave the city. This movie is beyond the holocaust itself. It speaks of human interaction in those difficult times. It highlights the complexity of those interactions.”

“What, in your opinion, did drive betrayal of friends? How could a neighbor turn a blind eye and commit such a horrific act?” Third question was asked. The microphone was solitary again as all three questioners took their seats. 

“One thing Nazis did right was segregation. They identified us and segregated us. After that, negative emotions were enough to drive the rest of the horror. How many of you can positively say that you have never been jealous of any of your neighbors? None.” Selig counted raised hands in the audience. Rolf was at the peak of uneasiness by then. He knew if he did not get up at that moment, he would lose his courage. Rolf got up to move towards the solitary microphone, but he kept a low profile and looked sideways. He did not want Selig’s attention. Selig continued, “But I realize you don’t kill them. The reason: They are integrated and part of the society. Similarly, many Jews were integrated into the society. They attended the same school, lived within the same community, played together. When Nazis segregated them, the integration was gone. The barrier vanished. There was no inhibition. People believed that Jews were non-significant. And if you discriminate or harm Jews, you had no repercussions. In fact, peer pressure ensured, in many cases, that you do not stand with the Jews. If you were jealous of a Jew, you had a reason and no inhibition. If you hate, you had a reason and no inhibition. If you were greedy, you had a reason and no inhibition. Many officers were simply doing their duty. If you teach a soldier in army to kill an enemy, he is not making any judgment as to who the enemy is or what are the crimes. He is simply following orders and doing his duties.” Selig stopped for a while. Rolf was between two rows of seats slowly walking towards the microphone. He had his hand on his forehead to avoid seeing eye to eye with Selig. After deep breath Selig continue, “In absence of an inhibition, every human fights a battle between negative and positive motivation. Many times whichever side wins, decided his action. However, all of us at times are simply incapable of fighting the battle and go with the flow. Nazis created a flow and many just followed. Nonetheless, not all was bad. You saw the movie. Many Jews survived. They survived through good fortune and kind and love of non-Jews.”

Rolf was at the microphone. He said, “What is your story?” Selig looked up. Rolf and Selig were looking into each other’s eyes after six decades. A light in Selig’s eyes assured Rolf that they both recognized each other.

Selig said, “You ask my story. I was betrayed, by a friend. My best friend for ten years told Nazis about us. They came after my family and me. We had to run. And then.” Selig paused for a moment. Rolf was not blinking. Selig continued looking at the blank face of Rolf, “My father had a shop in the village. His neighbor was a wealthy man. He had the biggest shop in the village. He took us and kept us in his basement for eight years. We hardly saw the daylight for eight years. But finally, we were able to start the new life. We were lucky than the most. We did not have to leave our village, though we lost everything we had, including our hope. How can I hate Germans? I was betrayed by one, I was saved by one and I am one.” Selig and Rolf were staring at each other by the time.

Gathering courage, Rolf followed up, “Do you hate your friend?”

Selig removed his glasses and wiped his face with his hands. He looked into Rolf’s eyes and said, “No Rolf. I do not hate you. How did you hate me?” Audience gasped.

“I did not,” Rolf cried. “I did not hate you. I was eleven years old. As you said, I had no inhibitions and negative feeling called fear won. You were always top of the class. You were always ahead of me in studies. I feared lagging behind. I saw it as an opportunity. I thought by complaining about you, you will be thrown out of school and I would be the best student. I never meant any harm to you. It was childish. I had been carrying this guilt for years. This is my chance to apologize. I could not change the history, but I could acknowledge my mistake.”

Selig stood up. “The reason my story was not part of that movie, because I could not muster the words, my friend betrayed me. I could only say it today because I was looking at you. It took us 6 decades, but we met.” Selig and Rolf walked towards each other and hugged. The audience applauded. They witnessed one more story of win from holocaust. 

P.S.: Above story is fictional, but it is inspired from a real exhibition at the National Holocaust museum in Washington, DC. The Holocaust has been symbolized by all the atroctities and brutalities, but “Some were neighbors” exhibition highlights human connections and dynamics during the holocaust. If you get a chance, please go and see it. Here is the website for the reference: http://somewereneighbors.ushmm.org/

An Opportunity to Save a Life

He was nervous. He was focused. Neither he could hear the wind nor the footsteps. The sun had set, but the night was bright under full moon. He was nervous with anticipation. He was aware he was early, yet he was agitated and impatient. Wearing a tuxedo, he was admired by every lady that crossed him. He was nervous, because he was waiting for his date.

She was excited. She was eager. She had to wait, as it was not time yet. The parking was half-empty owing to a weekday. She was excited with anticipation. She was early, but she was in no hurry. She wanted everything to be perfect. Wearing a blue dinner gown, she was envy of every lady that crossed her. She was nervous, because she was his date.

At exactly 7:30, she stepped out of car. He turned around to see her. Her ears were sparkling due to diamonds on them. His smile was contagious. She arrived at the door. He kissed her. She blushed. He said, “You look gorgeous.” 

Her blush widened. He held the door for her. After a minute of pause, she said, “We agreed to no cheesy dialogues.” He chuckled, “Yes, but you can’t stop me from speaking the universal truth. You look gorgeous.” 

He had made a reservation in advance, so a waiter was waiting for them. The waiter showed them to their private booth. A beautiful yellow rose was lying on the table with a bottle of wine. The waiter smiled and left. He picked up the rose and presented to his lady. She accepted graciously, “This is lovely. Thank you.”

He said, “As lovely as you, my love.” She laughed and both sat down, “Your cheesiness is getting worse and worse. Let’s drop the pretense.”

He also laughed, “Pretense! I’m honoring your order.”

While playing with the rose, she said, “Order! I just mentioned that it would be nice to celebrate our first anniversary exactly like our first date.”

He did not want to fall into the trap. He just smiled and said, “You do look irresistible today.” Before she could reply, he called waiter. The waiter opened a wine bottle and poured into their glasses.  Both raised their glasses, “Cheers to us.” Both took a sip, looked at each other and smiled. After a second, they looked away and drank another sip. They again looked at each other, smiled and looked away.

She said, “Hmmm…this wine is good.”

He said, “Do you like it?”

She said, “Yeah. Yeah. I do.”

He said, “So it tastes good, right?”

She said, “It does.”

They drank wine quietly. The waiter came, poured more wine and served them salad.

She said, “And this date is as awkward as the first one.”

He laughed, “We’re quiet ones. I’m surprised we lasted a year together.”

She said, “That is because of our work.”

He said, “Our work? 

She said, “I’m district attorney. You’re police inspector. We talk all day to nasty characters. I think we enjoy our quietness after long days.”

He said, “I’ve been thinking on that line. Do you think us dating is conflict of interest?”

The waiter came with main course. The waiter opened a new wine bottle, cleared their salad bowls and served the main dish.

Her eyes sparkled looking at the dish. She said, “You’re such a sweet. You ordered Salmon, my favorite.”

He said, “I have to please my lady today.” She blushed and they started eating.

After few seconds, she said, “I don’t want any more awkwardness. Let’s talk.”

He asked, “About what?”

She stopped eating, looked straight into his eyes and said, “Why do you think our dates are conflict of interest?”

He said, “We discuss so many cases together and many times we are on the opposite sides. If we get influenced by each other, we may end up screwing someone’s life.”

She said, “Wise man, why didn’t you think this when you asked me out a year ago? That was the worst timing. I was delivering a notice for more information on an inmate.”

He said, “Spur of the moment. You were irresistible on that day as well.”

She said, “But that was conflict of interest. “

He said, “May be. Before I open your request and read it, inmate 1479 was executed. His execution order was already signed, so there could not be any conflict of interest.”

She said, “It was. You became so mesmerized by me that you didn’t even open the notice.” She laughed hard and said after a second, “Forget about it. What do you think of executions?”

He said, “I don’t think they serve any purpose. The purpose of legal system is to provide offenders a chance to improve. Executions should only be for repeat offenders.”

“Yes right.” She said sarcastically. “1479 was executed for rape and murder of a woman. How is that not justified?”

He stopped eating, took a sip of wine and thought for a moment, “Well! When you put it that way, there’s no argument.”

She snapped back, “What can be the argument otherwise?”

He said, “Executions are ineffective. As a society, you should be preserving every life. That is the only way to survive.”

Now she stopped eating, put her silverware in the plate and said, “Death penalty is a big deterrent. It makes people afraid of committing crimes.”

He said, “Put me in solitary confinement in a jail for a day and I will be your slave. Who does commit crime and say I will go to jail for a year? Jail term is enough deterrent and a chance to improve criminals. An opportunity to make them part of the society again.”

She said, “Let’s agree to disagree then.” They both started eating again. She gulped some wine and said politely, “Do you think our relationship will last?”

He said, “No doubt, it will. We just agreed to disagree on such a sensitive topic. We respect each other’s view.” She smiled. He held her right hand with his left hand and pressed it gently.

She said, “It was still funny under the circumstances you asked me out. I was delivering a notice for medical information for an inmate who was about to be executed. What an odd place and time!”

He laughed, “Indeed and that exercise also proved futile. 1479 was executed anyway. Our current Governor is in your team. He likes executing.”

She said, “No one likes executing. We believe that is an important part of our legal system.”

He said, “Yes. True. I meant Governor had decided.”

She said, “I believe so, too. Governor was just doing formality of asking for medical records under pressure of some activists. Activists believed 1479 was mentally unstable and that was enough grounds for not executing him. If you ask me, that was one more reason. 1479 was mentally unstable and criminal; just execute him. How can he be of any use to the society? But then, we are law enforcement. We can’t enforce the laws only if we like. We just enforce them as prescribed.”

He said, “Yeh we enforce them as prescribed. Then I should have opened the notice and sent you 1479’s medical details.”

She said, “If that’s what the law and rule says, you slacker.” She laughed. He just smiled. They finished eating their Salmon. The waiter came; he cleared the table and served desserts.

He emptied his wine. The waiter poured some more. He said, “Not slacker. We get three days to respond. We didn’t get three days and I didn’t know you were asking for his medical records. 1479 was executed the very next day you delivered me the notice.”

She said, “There you go. No one can convict you. I also get three days to deliver the notice and I delivered it in two days. No one can convict me either. Happy ending.”

He stared at her and said, “You are smart and beautiful. I am lucky.”

She said, “And you are drunk.” They both smiled.

He ate a couple of spoons of his cake and then said, “I could have opened your notice immediately and sent the medical details of 1479.”

She said, “Yes you could have.”

He said, “He was mentally unstable.”

She said, “In that case, he might not have been executed.”

He said, “True.”

She said, “But all these are speculation. You need three days to deliver a response, which you didn’t have.” He didn’t respond and continued eating. Once she finished eating her dessert she said, “I could have issued you a notice as soon as I was ordered by the Governor that would have given you more time. You might have opened the notice and sent the medical details of 1479.”

He said, “I don’t think we could have made much difference. Judge and jury sentenced 1479 to death penalty overlooking his mental issues.”

She said, “Yes and the Governor knew we need six days in total to provide response: three for me to deliver notice and three for you to deliver medical records. As you said, he had made up his mind about execution and he was just doing formality of sending the notice.”

He said, “True.”

She said, “But we had an opportunity to save a life.”

He said, “So did the judge and the Governor. Our wonderful system gave four people opportunities to save a life and yet we failed.”

They both looked at each other. He paid the bill. They walked outside to the car and drove back home. They did not talk anything on their way back. Their first anniversary gave them a lot to think about.

The Spy Story

“He is a decorated officer and..” A bald man with a thick moustache, at 60, Katich looked authoritative. Looking straight into the eyes of Zasha, he continued after a brief pause, “And well respected among people of this country.”

“Ignorant people.” Zasha snapped back.

The hotel suite, they were in, was a big suite, but not big enough to accommodate three anxious people in tense situation. Katich and Zasha, both high profile intelligence officers, were running out of space to pace around. Ayub, the third habitant of the suite, was rather calm sitting on the couch smoking an e-cigarette. They were not new to the scenario. One could not rise to the top of intelligence community without facing tough decisions and unexpected situations. However, the person who put them into this scenario was extraordinary.

“Are you blinded by your loyalty to Amos?” Ayub had always been direct. He did not hesitate to ask the difficult question Zasha could not. He continued ignoring Zasha’s stare, “Your weekly lunch is not secret.”

“He is my friend and he will remain so till the end of my life, but that has never stopped me from doing my duty and never will. Are you satisfied?” Katich walked up to Ayub. Ayub put his cigarette on the table and stood up.

“No, he doesn’t doubt you, sir,” added Zasha giving reprimanding look to Ayub.

“Not at all, sir. I’m merely stating your emotions taking over your decision,” Ayub added.

“Ridiculous,” Zasha said.

“Well then. Past is past. He’s a decorated officer, but at the same time, he is responsible for the death of 17 of our best officers on foreign soil. For God’s sake, he sold us out, our country,” Ayub could not keep his calm without the cigarette. He sat down and threw his cigarette in his mouth.

“Perhaps one or several more will be sold out in 23 minutes,” said Zasha.

“We develop our intelligence and spy network to protect people and their trust. He has been the most popular spy, the greatest spy of this country. Ordinary citizens look up to him as a savior, a model citizen of this country.”

Ayub interrupted, “A model citizen who’s killing other citizens.” Several years younger and junior, Ayub never hesitated to express his opinion nevertheless. His abilities of quick thinking, aggressiveness and decision-making made him a prodigy. Katich himself trained Ayub as a field officer and Ayub never disappointed Katich.

“Sir we have only 20 more minutes before..” Zasha kept her focus on the situation. She was a true agent devoid of any emotions in her work and always focused.

Ignoring Zasha, Katich asked Ayub, “Why do citizens trust you as a spy or intelligence officer? What are you giving to them?”

“Because they know we’re keeping them safe. We are keeping them alive,” Ayub continued to focus on smoking.

“No they don’t know that. They don’t know anything you do. They believe that’s what you’re doing. We are the only community to whom no one asks for proof. You can say any cock and bull story and they will continue to trust you. To be declared rich, having money is not enough you have to spend it, but spies no proof. Spies or intelligence officers or unsung heroes or James Bonds, whatever you call. The trust has built over centuries on them,” Katich pulled his own cigarette and lighted it.

“So we let 17 people to meet the worst fate, death,” Ayub said calmly.

“If death was the worst then you would not be carrying cyanide with you. Pain is the worst. Everyone associate death with pain and misunderstand death to be the worst. We are responsible to keep that pain away from citizens, physical, mental and emotional. I can not let people’s trust in us go down and let them suffer mental and emotional pain.”

“Sir, 15 minutes.” Keeping track of the time Zasha warned them.

“Ok. I’m going down to have a talk with him. You two sit in a corner and wait for my signal,” Katich explained a one line plan of action. Zasha and Ayub did not argue and watched Katich leave the room. Both younger officers cleaned and left the room after five minutes.

Katich walked downstairs and asked for two cups of tea. Four more minutes passed when he acquired two cups of tea. Katich held the tray from waiter and walked up to an old man in tuxedo sitting near a window. The man did not notice Katich; he was looking outside enjoying sunshine.

“Tea Amos?” Katich offered to Amos.

“Katich! This is a surprise considering today is not Wednesday.” Amos stood up to welcome Katich.

“May I?” Katich asked for permission to sit. He had roughly six more minutes to find a solution to situation. Without wasting any time he quickly sat and spoke to the point, “We will have our weekly lunch on Wednesday, if you promise not kill anymore of my people.”

Amos did not show any sign of surprise. “What took you so long, Katich?” Amos and Katich both smiled. Having known each other for twenty years, they could read each other’s mind. “By the way, I won’t be available for our next weekly lunch on Wednesday, because you’re about to kill me.”

“Why?”

“Really. You don’t know why? You hired me because of my information on them. In reality, I always worked for them. Joining your agency was part of the plan. Rising in the ranks was part of the plan. I was just doing my job,” explained Amos.

Katich gave a deep sigh. “Alas, I was right to suspect you.”

“You were. I could not do anything for almost 8 years until we became friends. We should not be making friends, but then I made one. And you made one,” said Amos.

“My mistake. I made a friend who would have had me killed anytime,” said Katich taking sip of his tea. Amos also took a sip from his cup. Katich had four more minutes to make a decision and sort out the situation. 

“Who did you think obstructed all of your attempts to be a field agent? I could neither have my friend killed nor lose my job.”

“After betrayal of twenty years, you’re saying you’re my true friend and you looked after me. Well, thank you.” Katich took a big sip of his tea while staring at Amos. Katich had three more minutes to finish his tea. He didn’t know who was coming to receive information from Amos. The only way Katich could ensure Amos drank most of tea, was by keep drinking his own.

“You are my true friend. You are giving me pleasure of my favorite tea and a nice conversation. So be a true friend, get your gun out and shoot me. You know I don’t carry a cyanide and I want to die. I can not carry this anymore. I’m tired of shutting my emotions,” First time in his career Amos lost control of himself. He gulped down all the tea and put down cup so hard that it developed cracks.

Katich smiled slightly. “I won’t. You will follow the process of law like any other traitor.”

“It took you killing of seventeen of your best agents to track me down?” asked Amos.

“No. I knew for a while. I wanted to know why you were leaving clues for me. If you didn’t want you could have never been caught,” said Katich.

“Right you are. I’m the best spy there ever has been. You know the reality. It’s not these covert operations or dodging surveillance or meticulous planning that makes spying difficult. No, they are the easiest part. It’s the stress, doubting everyone, having no friends make spying difficult. I am lucky enough to have made one true friend. I’m tired of my life, but I am not capable of ending it myself. I’m asking my one true friend, the only personal investment of my life, to kill me, to end my misery. I have provided enough trail to you to prove me rogue. No law will do any harm to you.” Amos let his emotions out first time since Katich had known Amos.

“By betraying this country, this organization, you betrayed me. I’m not doing you any favor,” Katich declared.

“Now I understand what took you so long. You were worried about citizen’s trust in the system. Nothing is changed. If you take me in, people will lose trust in the system and your organization. Besides you know very well, you won’t be able to get anything out of me so what’s the point of going through pain of arresting and putting me to the trial,” plead Amos.

“Time. I will run evidence against you in public, a media campaign. I know I will lose trust for short term, but long term all the anger will be directed to you, a person.” Katich was close to his goal, but he had only fifty more seconds. He signaled Ayub and Zasha. If more people were around Amos, his contact would not approach Amos. Zasha and Ayub approached Katich. Amos looked at them and smiled, “No favor for a friend then?”

“No favor for a traitor,” said Katich. “May I introduce you to Ayub and Zasha?”

“Nice to meet you. I know them of course. They have been..” Amos stopped talking. Smile vanished from his face. His eyes lost focus. He looked at Katich briefly, put his right hand on his chest and collapsed to his right. 

Ayub put his fingers on Amos’ neck, “Dead sir.”

Katich stood up. “Good. Destroy these cups. Make sure, no autopsy. Give him all the respect. Ask police to take my statement. He died of a heart attack. He was a decorated officer. He deserves all the respect. Is that clear?”

“Yes sir,” said Ayub.

“Why not shoot him and go to all this trouble?” asked Zasha.

“He lived his life on his term, betrayed everyone and wanted to die on his own terms. He died on his terms as well. I didn’t want to have him last pleasure of being aware of his victory,” said Katich and walked away.

Love at the last sight

“You know these streets!” said Kyle with a wide-eyed admiration.

“Just a few streets around here,” said Eric keeping his eyes on the busy street.

“Man! I wish I were single. Look at these girls,” said Kyle. He put on his sunglasses and opened the window. Smiling at every girl on the road, he was not listening to Eric’s responses.

“It’s Paris man. Just don’t take any baggage back home with you,” said Eric and got Kyle’s attention.

“Just like you did. You never told any stories of your stay in Paris,” said Eric. “Look at these streets and hey that’s Eifel Tower. Driving through the beauty with Eifel Tower in front and Sun shining on us, this is the summer, I say.” Eric stole a look at Kyle and turned on the radio. “Hey, and it’s English,” said Kyle loudly. Now, he was distributing flying kisses.

Eric turned right, looked at Kyle for a microsecond, and asked, “Kyle, hmmm…do you mind if we take a little detour?”

“Yeh sure. Whatever. I’m single for a week, Eric,” said Kyle. Eric sighed as they stopped at a red light. Approaching Eifel Tower from the west, the sun was shining in front of them.

Kyle settled down, closed the window and put sunglasses away. “So where are we going?”

“I married to Julie on rebound,” said Eric quickly without looking at Kyle.

“Whoa whoa whoa. Where did that come from?” asked Kyle. Eric pushed the paddle as the lights turned green. “Now I understand. We are going to see your ex-girlfriend.”

“Elodie was not my girlfriend,” clarified Eric.

“So that’s her name, Elodie,” said Kyle mischievously punching Eric. Eric blushed and turned off the radio. “Yeah, your story is sassier than Meghan Trainor. I didn’t know they listened to her in France,” Kyle took a pause and then looked at Eric, who was concentrating hard on the traffic. “So Elodie was not your girlfriend. Did she reject you for a classy French man?”

“I never asked her out,” said Eric stopping at another red light. “We used to walk on this street, all four of us, when we were doing the project together. We walked this street everyday to drop Elodie and then take metro to go to our places.”

“Did you two get drunk and made out or something?” asked Kyle.

“No.”

“Then she asked you out and you rejected her, only to realize your mistake,” Kyle’s torso was facing Eric completely.

“No. We never dated, kissed, made out or had sex,” said Eric.

Kyle turned back to his seat. “It’s green.” The car started moving again. “I’m lost here. I mean how did you marry Julie on rebound?” Kyle said with an emphasis on rebound.

“Because I was in love with Elodie and she was in love with me when I started dating Julie,” said Eric pushing hard on the paddle. He almost hit the car in front.

“Eric calm down. I’m on your side. I’m just trying to understand. In fact, this is what rebound is. You might not be over Julie’s death and trying to find solace in an old puppy love,” Kyle explained. He was now facing Eric.

“No. Don’t judge me as a devil. I loved Julie, truly, but before that I loved Elodie, may be just for a minute. Look at that street, behind that McDonald’s,” Eric pointed at a McDonalds few blocks ahead. Kyle took some time to spot it on the busy street. They were not moving due to traffic. “That’s her street. A lot has changed here over past seven years, but I remember.”

“Surely not. She hasn’t moved out,” said Kyle.

Eric again concentrating hard on road, said, “I’m not sure. We have never talked since I left Paris.” Kyle’s mouth fell open, his eyes widened but no words came out. “So, that McDonald’s street is her street. Just 10 more minutes and we will be there.” Eric added on a cheerful note.

“Was her street,” corrected Kyle.

“What?”

“Eric she might have married in rebound as well and moved somewhere. Seven years Eric.” Kyle explained.

“Yes, she might have, but I’m taking my chances. You never know.”

“Tell me what I don’t know.” Kyle said exhausting all rational arguments.

“Last day in Paris, she decided to buy me a dinner. We were alone for the first time, just two of us. See this street. Yeah, this was where we had our dinner. Nice little place,” Eric said pointing at a small deli on the right. “I walked her home after dinner. We were talking about our project, its success, future plans and all. Her apartment balcony was exactly above the entrance. We reached the entrance, the last minute of our life together.”

The McDonald’s was three blocks away. They were slowly moving towards Elodie’s apartment. Eric continued. “That last moment, something happened, something divine. For the first time I noticed Elodie in a different way. Her eyes were saying something different. Her usual chatter was absent. We were just looking at each other and in that moment, we both felt something special. First time, I noticed her rather unusual grey eyes, her pale skin smooth as silk, her oval face, perfect Parisian makeup with black lash lines and red lips, waves of black hairs responding to every gush of wind playing hide and seek with her earrings and a child like smile.”

The McDonald’s was two blocks away. Even Kyle was visualizing a bright pale face and wavy black hairs. “And none of you said anything?” asked Kyle. “Nothing,” Eric responded. “We didn’t need to. We both exactly knew what we were feeling. At the same time, we were aware of the reality that I was leaving Paris the next day and probably never to return. Foolish I was, I assumed, I could never live in Paris and she could never leave Paris. Every day, she used to say goodbye to us from her balcony, you know while going home we three guys used to walk her to her apartment before catching metro. On that day, though I was alone with Elodie, we just said goodbye at the glass doors and I never turned back to even look at her, whether she was in her balcony. I couldn’t muster enough courage to look at her again. I was afraid I would lose my sense of reality and never leave Paris.”

One block and they would turn left towards Elodie’s apartment. Eric had lost control of his senses; the car was driven by his subconscious while his senses were completely focused on Elodie. Kyle was also smiling. He said, “Eric, I still think you’re being hard by saying you married Julie on rebound.” Eric promptly replied, “No Eric. I didn’t look back because I was numb. As soon as I boarded metro, I felt empty, like my soul had been sucked out. I couldn’t feel anything. I had episodes of emptiness after returning. When Julie asked me out, I had no energy to resist. Julie had a calming effect on me. I was able to focus on the present more when I was with Julie and so I got married. She helped me getting over Elodie, but I never told Julie about Elodie.”

“Last red light. I hope we see Elodie,” said Kyle excitedly while they were waiting to turn left.

Eric was dreaming Elodie standing in the balcony. “I never contacted Elodie and neither had she done me, because it was difficult. Not that we didn’t love each other, but we knew once we contact each other we would be sucked out of the mortal world into a dreamland from where there was no coming back.” Eric was in the dreamland at that moment. “Every time someone mentioned Eifel Tower, I thought of Elodie. McDonald’s, petit palais, Fete de la Musique, anything Paris reminded me of her. Every such reminder made me feel empty, lost, and numb.”

They turned left, crossed McDonald’s. Kyle was anxious and looking at every balcony. “Ah, love at the last sight,” said Kyle. “See that balcony,” said Eric loudly pointing at a light pink balcony over a pair of glass doors on the right few feet ahead of them. Kyle jumped in his seat at sudden shout. The balcony was very ordinary with solid concrete railings. Elodie was not in sight. Kyle immediately became disinterested. After all the excitement, he felt futile. Elodie must have moved ahead in her life. With a wry smile, Kyle looked down on the street ahead of car. His smile quickly vanished and he shouted, “LOOK OUT.”

Eric, not in control, with eyes on the balcony, hit a pedestrian crossing the street. Kyle got out in a jiffy. Eric was pulling himself together. The accident brought all his senses to the reality. The crowd was slowly gathering around the victim. Kyle froze to the ground looking at the victim, a woman in black dress: light grey eyes, skin as smooth as silk, oval face, black wavy hairs. Glass doors behind Kyle squeaked. He looked back and then up at Elodie’s balcony. Elodie was still living there. Eric was facing Kyle from the opposite end with a blank face. Kyle looked at him and then slowly lowered his gaze to look at Elodie. Her wavy hairs responded to a gush of wind but she did not. Eric followed Kyle’s gaze and looked at Elodie after seven year. Like a Michelangelo’s The Dying Slave, Eric was firmly rooted to the ground with no movement. Kyle walked up to him and put his left hand on Eric’s shoulder. As soon as the hand touched Eric, he collapsed. Kyle could not believe his eyes and he kneeled down. “Love at the last sight and love in the last sight. Love till the last breath,” Kyle murmured to himself. Eric loved Elodie, truly.

Many are able to live together with someone they love, but few are lucky enough to die together.