Rolf had avoided any events that reminded him of his past,
but when he heard Selig Baar was speaking he had to go. Rolf saw it as an
opportunity to let go of his past; the guilt he had been hiding for six
decades. Selig Baar was speaking at a local museum after screening of the
documentary The Motivation for the Holocaust. Rolf did not want to watch documentary.
He was not keen on living his past again. He only wanted to ask a question to
Selig.
Rolf went to the museum at 6. When he entered the small
auditorium, an old man wearing rectangle glasses was walking lethargically to
the front. Rolf recognized Selig walking to the front. Before Selig turned
around, Rolf quickly slipped into a seat in the last row. The auditorium was
small. Scanning the atmosphere, Rolf saw around 70 people in 100 seats. All the
members of audience were in awe and unable to move. Holocaust had been
mesmerizing people for years. It had the same effect on that day.
Between two rows of seats, a microphone was getting the most
attention. Before Selig settled into his chair and took charge of his microphone,
three people lined up to ask question.
“Thank you all for joining us today and once again please
welcome Selig Baar.” A female voice filled the auditorium. Rolf could not see
her from his seat. He did not make any effort also, as Rolf was avoiding eye
contact with Selig. “The word holocaust in the context of World War 2 was
synonymous with gas chambers. However, as we saw today, there was much more to
it. It started years before the world war. It was more than gas chambers,
unethical taxation, segregation, racism, eviction, mass graves, murders, loot
and many more words can be used to describe them. Selig Baar is here with us:
one of the survivors of those terrible times. Please ask your questions.”
Rolf adjusted in his seat to have a look at Selig’s face.
After six decades, the man was distant resemblance to his younger self. Selig’s
saggy face, big bones, thin hairs were evident of the time passed. Selig was no
longer the skinny blond boy Rolf remembered.
“Do you hate Germans?” The first question was fired at
Selig.
Selig laughed loudly. “This is one question I prepared
answer for. I didn’t expect it to be the first one though. I am German. Can I
hate myself?” Many members of the audience chuckled with Selig. “I understand
your question. Holocaust was not a showdown between German and Jews. I believe
except for Denmark and Finland, local authorities and structure participated in
holocaust. France, Lithuania, Yugoslavia, you name it. Neighbors, friends,
classmates, colleagues, employers, they all participated. On the other hand,
Romas, some ethnic Polish leaders were also killed. I have never been anything
else than German. How can I hate Germans?” Even though Rolf avoided the movie,
he could not avoid the memories. He was shifting in his chair. He was
uncomfortable. The discussion was already unbearable.
“Mr. Baar. Thank you for being here today. That was an
inspiring movie. I loved the stories of survivors, because we all have heard
horrible stories of deaths and killings. First time I saw so many stories of
triumph over evil. Can you shed some light on your thoughts on this movie?”
Second question was asked to Selig.
Selig coughed. “My thoughts. The movie you saw was the life
we lived. This movie is about human interactions in the wake of the tragedy.
Every person is driven by something. Greed, Compassion, Love, Hate, Jealousy.
When greed, jealousy, hate took over a person they reported us to the
authorities, participated in killings, robbed our belongings. When compassion,
love, care won, they helped us. In the end, all those people survived because
someone on the other side helped them at great risk. I remember one instance
when a Nazi officer called an old Jew friend advising him to leave the city. This
movie is beyond the holocaust itself. It speaks of human interaction in those
difficult times. It highlights the complexity of those interactions.”
“What, in your opinion, did drive betrayal of friends? How
could a neighbor turn a blind eye and commit such a horrific act?” Third
question was asked. The microphone was solitary again as all three questioners
took their seats.
“One thing Nazis did right was segregation. They identified
us and segregated us. After that, negative emotions were enough to drive the rest
of the horror. How many of you can positively say that you have never been
jealous of any of your neighbors? None.” Selig counted raised hands in the
audience. Rolf was at the peak of uneasiness by then. He knew if he did not get
up at that moment, he would lose his courage. Rolf got up to move towards the
solitary microphone, but he kept a low profile and looked sideways. He did not
want Selig’s attention. Selig continued, “But I realize you don’t kill them.
The reason: They are integrated and part of the society. Similarly, many Jews
were integrated into the society. They attended the same school, lived within
the same community, played together. When Nazis segregated them, the
integration was gone. The barrier vanished. There was no inhibition. People
believed that Jews were non-significant. And if you discriminate or harm Jews,
you had no repercussions. In fact, peer pressure ensured, in many cases, that
you do not stand with the Jews. If you were jealous of a Jew, you had a reason
and no inhibition. If you hate, you had a reason and no inhibition. If you were
greedy, you had a reason and no inhibition. Many officers were simply doing
their duty. If you teach a soldier in army to kill an enemy, he is not making
any judgment as to who the enemy is or what are the crimes. He is simply
following orders and doing his duties.” Selig stopped for a while. Rolf was between
two rows of seats slowly walking towards the microphone. He had his hand on his
forehead to avoid seeing eye to eye with Selig. After deep breath Selig
continue, “In absence of an inhibition, every human fights a battle between
negative and positive motivation. Many times whichever side wins, decided his
action. However, all of us at times are simply incapable of fighting the battle
and go with the flow. Nazis created a flow and many just followed. Nonetheless,
not all was bad. You saw the movie. Many Jews survived. They survived through
good fortune and kind and love of non-Jews.”
Rolf was at the microphone. He said, “What is your story?”
Selig looked up. Rolf and Selig were looking into each other’s eyes after six
decades. A light in Selig’s eyes assured Rolf that they both recognized each
other.
Selig said, “You ask my story. I was betrayed, by a friend.
My best friend for ten years told Nazis about us. They came after my family and
me. We had to run. And then.” Selig paused for a moment. Rolf was not blinking.
Selig continued looking at the blank face of Rolf, “My father had a shop in the
village. His neighbor was a wealthy man. He had the biggest shop in the
village. He took us and kept us in his basement for eight years. We hardly saw
the daylight for eight years. But finally, we were able to start the new life.
We were lucky than the most. We did not have to leave our village, though we
lost everything we had, including our hope. How can I hate Germans? I was betrayed
by one, I was saved by one and I am one.” Selig and Rolf were staring at each
other by the time.
Gathering courage, Rolf followed up, “Do you hate your
friend?”
Selig removed his glasses and wiped his face with his hands.
He looked into Rolf’s eyes and said, “No Rolf. I do not hate you. How did you
hate me?” Audience gasped.
“I did not,” Rolf cried. “I did not hate you. I was eleven
years old. As you said, I had no inhibitions and negative feeling called fear
won. You were always top of the class. You were always ahead of me in studies.
I feared lagging behind. I saw it as an opportunity. I thought by complaining
about you, you will be thrown out of school and I would be the best student. I
never meant any harm to you. It was childish. I had been carrying this guilt
for years. This is my chance to apologize. I could not change the history, but
I could acknowledge my mistake.”
Selig stood up. “The reason my story was not part of that
movie, because I could not muster the words, my friend betrayed me. I could
only say it today because I was looking at you. It took us 6 decades, but we
met.” Selig and Rolf walked towards each other and hugged. The audience
applauded. They witnessed one more story of win from holocaust.
P.S.: Above story is fictional, but it is inspired from a
real exhibition at the National Holocaust museum in Washington, DC. The
Holocaust has been symbolized by all the atroctities and brutalities, but “Some
were neighbors” exhibition highlights human connections and dynamics during the
holocaust. If you get a chance, please go and see it. Here is the website for
the reference: http://somewereneighbors.ushmm.org/
